We’ve all been there; stuck in a cycle of a painful event or situation, keeping us from moving past and onto the next phase of our lives. Often, we forget the power of simply letting go. The art of letting go is a skill that requires practice and patience. Learning to be comfortable with allowing the past to be in the past will bring about a newfound sense of freedom and renewal.
1. Paradox of Letting Go
Sometimes, ironically, it’s only when we let go that we can truly be free. When we’re clinging on to an illness or an addiction, we rarely find the liberation we’re looking for, no matter how hard we try. Letting go of the things holding us back is often the first difficult step. But, it can also open up a world of newfound possibilities.
The Energizing Effect – When people truly let go of whatever has a grip on them, they often describe a feeling of lightness, of energetic freedom. This weight has been lifted and we can now move forward with a newfound sense of possibility and vigor.
However, it can also be a daunting experience – letting go can bring up a range of emotions, both positive and negative, and a whole spectrum of feelings. It can be a difficult transition, both mentally and physically. It can require us to reassess a lot of our beliefs and behaviors, and how we may have viewed our identity.
The Power of Knowing – It’s a difficult paradox to internalize but, anytime we give ourselves permission to let go, we also give ourselves permission to begin anew. We can start growing stronger and more centered, and draw on a sense of renewal for our mental and physical well-being.
- Be compassionate with yourself during this process.
- Take things one step at a time.
- Take the time to recognize all of your achievements, big and small.
Letting go is an empowering and liberating act, albeit a difficult one. Our growth and healing relies on our willingness to let go, to embrace the new, and move forward in life. We must trust that it will all work out in the end, and enjoy the journey along the way.
2. The Difference Between Losing and Releasing
Losing and releasing both sound like negative, painful, heartbreaking actions that we fear and resist doing. But in some circumstances, there is a powerful difference between them and there can be a silver lining to the end of either experience.
Losing seems to come with a sense of failure, defeat, hopelessness. It’s often the result of a lack of effort, attention, investment, and persistent follow-through. The person, thing, relationship, or chapter of life that has been lost was once had or dreamed of, and is now gone. There’s a sense of heavy loss and grief, and an emptiness that can be hard to fill.
Releasing on the other hand, is a relinquishing of something or someone no longer served. Maybe it’s past goals that no longer fit, dreams that have expired, roles or beliefs that no longer ring true. Maybe it’s people or situations that no longer make sense. After the surrendering, there is a sense of grace, lightness, acceptance, peace, and even freedom.
What we must understand is that some losses aren’t failures, but opportunities to let go and move on. That some endings need to come to clear the way for new beginnings. That releasing pain is a way to keep an open heart. That experiences can shape us and grow us and give us valuable knowledge and understanding.
Losing and releasing can both push us to our edges. In these moments, it’s important to remember that it is a great privilege to be alive, and to experience a wide range of emotions and to keep a brave, open heart. It can be humbling and empowering to be face to face with our insecurities, fears, or disappointments and to make the most of that difficult experience.
3. Finding Balance Through Surrender
Surrender can be tricky––you have to resist any lingering temptations of micromanaging the situation, and instead to lay down the burden of worry and concern. But once you do, there’s a unique balance waiting to be discovered.
1. Acknowledge the Problem
It can be hard to admit that ultimately, your plans or solutions are not the ones that will bring success. But this is the first step in achieving balance –– owning up to your own limits and inadequacies. Realistically estimating the power of the problem can also serve to give clarity and purpose to the solution.
2. Be Honest with Yourself
Think carefully about what you can and can’t do; what strengths you can bring to bear, and what weaknesses you can work around. Believe in your own value and potential, and be aware of your own limitations. Letting go of unrealistic expectations or expectations set by outside influences can help you hone in on the most practical action plan.
3. Let Go
Once you stop fighting with yourself and the situation, the real nature of the problem can be revealed. And this can be liberating. Allow yourself to surrender to the understanding that no matter your efforts, sometimes the outcome will be out of your hands. This doesn’t make you weak –– it makes you wise.
4. Accept Change
Things change, and understanding that is part of balance. With surrender, you allow yourself to become flexible. With this comes ideas on how to cope and adapt to changing conditions. From patience and compassion towards yourself to an improved understanding of others, an attitude of acceptance means new solutions can emerge.
- Let go of expectations and be honest with yourself.
- Be flexible and willing to adapt to change.
- Acknowledge the problem, but keep working to find balance.
doesn’t mean giving up. It means letting go of what isn’t working, and trusting that something better may come along. At its best, it can be an enlightening experience with huge implications.
4. The Power of Letting Go
Learning to Let Go
It’s not always easy to accept the things we cannot change or control. But if we can take the time to do so, we can find the power in letting go. That power can bring true peace and joy essential for living a fulfilled and meaningful life.
Release the Need for Things to Represent What We Want
We could be clinging to a job, a relationship action or even a possession that no longer serves us. We think it will give us the sense of joy or satisfaction that we seek and it may have done that at one time, but it’s time to let go.
Stop Chasing Fantasies
We all have ideas of what life could be like. Of what our career could be like. Of what our relationships could be like. But even though fantasizing and dreaming is a creative process, it’s important to be realistic about what can reasonably be achieved. Start living in the present.
Don’t Believe What You Think
Our thoughts can have tremendous power. But very often our thoughts are not facts. We are only hearing one side of the story if we trust only our own thoughts. Get a different perspective by talking to trusted others and find the power in letting go of false assumptions.
Be Patient and Practice Self-Care
Letting go is not easy and it takes practice and patience. It also takes self-care – from getting enough rest and exercise, to managing stress and setting healthy boundaries. The more self-care we give to ourselves, the more freedom to explore our options and move forward into a healthier future.
Accept and Move On
Letting go is often a process of acceptance – accepting reality as it is and making a choice to go forward without it. Not every decision will make us feel good, nor will every situation turn out the way we want. But there is always the chance to work with it and come out stronger on the other side.
Letting go is something that we can all benefit from – it can lead us to discovering a new sense of freedom. Through transformative practices like journaling, meditation, and other mindfulness techniques, we empower ourselves to break away from stagnant behaviors, past hurts, and insecurities. The art of letting go is a self-care practice that takes time, courage, and commitment, but it can undoubtedly help you become a better, happier version of yourself.